A construction site is a busy place filled with many workers all carrying out different tasks. While everyone on a construction site doesn’t have the same job, they’re all hard workers with important roles in the grand scheme of things.
I believe that in its simplest form, construction is the act of building something, making it an ideal foundation for building some hilarious jokes as well.
I may not have directly worked on construction sites, but I’ve been in the construction and welfare hire industry for so long that construction sites are practically my home away from home. In my belief, they’ve also been the source of some of the funniest comedic material. I’ve always enjoyed witty zingers and jokes ever since I was a kid. However, as I grew up and entered the corporate world, I felt I had to shut away that part of me.
It was only a couple of years ago that I found myself blessed with so much comedic material, that I had to pick up my age-old hobby once more. Jokes are meant to be shared and that’s why I decided to share some of the best jokes in my tool belt I’ve heard over the years with anyone who’s eager to listen. Now, let’s take a look at some of my favourite construction jokes that will get a chuckle out of the surliest builder.
1) The Pun
“Why was the aggregate discharged after being accused of murder? There was no concrete evidence.”
Ah, puns — the ever-underappreciated joke. With building aggregate being as dry (haha!) as they are, it’s always funny to bring some levity into the discussion with a good pun.
2) The Play on Words
“I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site… but when I got home, all the signs were there.”
A buddy of mine told me this one a few weeks ago, and I still can’t help but laugh whenever I think of it. Indeed, it’s a wonderful example playing on the two different meanings of signs.
3) A Classic Misunderstanding
A homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. “You did a great job,” he said and handed the man a check.
“As a special thank you, here’s an extra £80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie.”
Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the painter had forgotten something, the man asked, “What’s the matter, did you forget something?”
“Nope,” replied the painter. “I’m just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked.”
I came across this one online while surfing some joke forums and I just love the build-up to the punchline. It’s hilarious how a simple misinterpretation can create a hilarious premise that just tickles the funny bone.
4) Another Punny One
“I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted steps. He just gave me a blank stair.”
I don’t know what it is about puns, but when I find a good one, I just have to share it.
5) The Multi-layered Joke
“I was offered a construction job in Egypt this morning. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a pyramid scheme.”
My brother, who is an actual construction worker, shared this with me one night at the local bar. I was already in such high spirits, that hearing this joke actually had me snort out a bit of my beer. That was certainly a memorable night.
6) Family Hijinks
“My dad gave up his job of being a late-night radio DJ. He took up a new job as a railway construction worker.
Talk about a career change, but I guess he just couldn’t give up his love for laying tracks.”
There’s something about adding a family member to a funny scenario that just makes it more humorous.
7) It’s All About Delivery
A strong, young man at a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.
“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said.
“I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.”
“You’re on, old man,” the braggart replied. “Let’s see what you got.”
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.
Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “All right, Get in.”
This one’s all about the narration. From my many years perusing construction jokes and storylines, it’s all about the build-up (pun unintended). You can have an amazing joke, but it’s how you deliver it that really matters.
8) The Situational Gag
Two carpenters were working on a house. The one who was nailing down the timber would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.
The other carpenter, figuring this was worth looking into, asked him, “Why are you throwing those nails away?”
The first carpenter looked puzzled and then explained, “If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed towards me, I throw it away ‘cause it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in!”
The second carpenter got completely upset and yelled, “You moron! The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective! They’re for the other side of the house!”
Situational humour is a genre of comedy that always brings its own appeal in various seemingly ordinary scenarios. I saw this scene carried out in a local play, and the acting paired with the tongue-in-cheek humour had me rolling with laughter.
9) The Thinker
I had some builders come in last week to carry out some renovations on the outside of my house. It was quite a wet day when one of the builders approached the backdoor and asked me if he could use the loo.
I looked down at his extremely dirty boots and said, “Okay, but let me just lay some newspaper down first.”
He looked slightly offended and replied, “It is ok, I am already trained.”
Who doesn’t love a joke that makes you think a little? I find that the appeal of this joke lies in the simplicity and hilarity of the final punchline.
10) A Zinger
A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt.
The bartender asks, “What can I get you?”
The construction worker replies, “One beer for me and one for the road.”
My uncle shared this joke with me a couple of months ago and I just love how wittily structured it is, right from the set-up, to the characters, and the final line.
To Wrap Up
When you think of construction, the field can appear a bit drab or unexciting, yes? I’d always thought so for the longest time as well. However, adding a little humour to such an ordinary setting is an effective way to change this perspective. Whether you’re a construction worker yourself or someone who just enjoys a good laugh, I hope these jokes were able to bring a smile to your face.
Note: This is a collaborative post
No Comments