Building A Positive Relationship With Your Spouse

Relationships need a great deal of nurturing to keep them healthy. Unfortunately, with life’s pressures, it can become challenging to keep up with the nurturing bit. Although 2020 recorded the lowest number of marriages in Ireland (9,523 hookups), it doesn’t change the importance of building and maintaining a positive relationship with your spouse. That said, here are a few ideas on how to do it for your consideration.

• Adjust your expectations

Arguably, most people who fall in love tend to do so when some of their expectations are met. However, you can never fully know the person you fall in love with until you’re faced with a situation and then realise that the person doesn’t possess all the ‘specifications’ you desired. It’s why relationship experts always recommend adjusting your expectations where your spouse is concerned. The truth is, relationships change, and the two of you are no different.

Marriage is not a lifetime of the honeymoon phase, and that is the first thing you must acknowledge. You will lose some of the spontaneity you both enjoyed in the early days of your relationship. It is normal for that to happen, but the tip here is not to normalise it because it could lead to indifference and a possible breakdown of the relationship. The bond you share with your spouse is like a seed that needs careful watering to blossom into the beautiful flower you both desire.

• Acknowledge and celebrate anniversaries

Most of the time, men are the main culprits where forgotten anniversaries are concerned. For whatever reason, wives remember birthdays, anniversaries, etc., most of the time. The truth is, no matter who remembers it first, the most important thing is to make the period count. You can start by reaffirming your love for each other (no guests needed). In that case, you can exchange gifts that signify your love for each other, and the historically backed white gold emerald Claddagh ring is an excellent example for your spouse. That can become your love symbol of renewal. 

• Create rituals

What do you do when there are kids in the picture, coupled with busy work schedules on both ends? This is where you need creativity. Creating rituals in your relationship means taking deliberate steps to nurture and cement the bond. This can be in the form of a monthly date, weekend breakfast in bed, or an annual vacation for just the two of you.

A daily goodbye kiss before and after work, or a monthly couples massage, can improve intimacy and closeness. The secret about these rituals is to be deliberate about them to create or enhance stability in the home. Before you know it, both of you will begin to look forward to these rituals. Even better, you’ll both become interested in creating new rituals.

No great spousal relationship works out on its own. It takes a great deal of effort for the parties involved to remain positive and committed to each other. Hopefully, you can do the same.

Note: This is a collaborative post