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Mamma Fairy

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Gaslighting Examples: 6 Things Emotional Abusers Will Say

Gaslighting is the act of saying things that are untrue or manipulative to make someone else feel as if they don’t remember something right or become confused. This is a type of emotional abuse aimed at lowering the self-esteem of the victim and is often used in narcissistic relationships to alter the power balance between partners, trapping the victim in the relationship. It can happen in just about any type of relationship, not just romantic ones. 

It Never Happened

lady in bed

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The number one phrase people will use when gaslighting a victim is that “it never happened.” This is done to make the victim confused and feel as if they don’t have a good memory or are remembering something wrong. Often, the victim remembers every detail of what happened, but it puts the abuser in a poor light, so the abuser wants to change history by saying it never happened. Those who notice gaslighting like this may want to look into emotional abuse support as soon as possible. 

You’re Too Sensitive

Feelings are valid, no matter who has them or what feelings they have. It’s okay to be upset at something that happens. Yet, abusers will often tell their victim that they’re too sensitive. This is a way of minimizing the victim’s feelings, making the abuser the one in control of the situation. It’s not that the victim’s feelings aren’t valid or that they’re too sensitive, it’s that the abuser cannot feel the feelings and doesn’t want the victim to, either. 

You’re Crazy

No one wants to be told they’re crazy. When someone is a victim of emotional abuse, it’s easy to feel a little bit crazy, especially when faced with frequent gaslighting and manipulation. The abuser often adds to this by telling the victim they’re crazy. This often goes along with phrases like “it never happened” or “you’re too emotional” as the abuser wants to further invalidate the victim’s feelings. 

You Should Have Known

Abusers who become physically abusive will often use this phrase when they’re trying to make the victim feel like they’re the reason for the physical abuse. The abuser will try to blame the victim, saying that the victim should have known the abuser would be unhappy. Basically, the victim shouldn’t have done what they did to cause the abuser to act out. The thing is, however, it’s hard to impossible for victims to always know what will set off the abuser, so they often will not have known that it would lead to further abuse. 

False Apologies

False apologies are used all the time. Most people recognize fake apologies that turn the apology around onto the other person. These false apologies are common in abusive relationships and are a form of gaslighting. Though the abuser does say they’re sorry, it’s almost always followed by “but…” This is where they turn it around and blame the victim instead of actually apologizing for their behavior. 

Your Memory is Bad

Like saying something never happened, abusers will tell victims that their memory is bad. The main idea behind this is to cause confusion and make the victim feel like they’re forgetful. Instead, the likely reason this happens is that the abuser is trying to change history or have more control over the victim. 

If you are worried that you’re being gaslighted, it’s time to take a closer look at the relationship. A healthy relationship won’t include gaslighting or manipulation. Talk to a professional to get a better insight into what’s happening and to get help leaving the relationship. 

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Snack Condiments for Your Spicy Cravings

Snacking is essential for any diet.  Not only does it give you the calories you need to push through your day, but they also keep you from overloading your plate during your meals.  The capsaicin found in most spicy food takes this a step further by shrinking your stomach a little and making you feel fuller faster.  Unfortunately, pouring a little Texas Pete on everything you eat is going to get old fast.

hot sauce gift setsInstead of reaching for the old and familiar, here are some other fun and spicy condiments you can pair with almost every snack out there! And if any of my family are reading this, I would love some hot sauce gift sets this Christmas!! 

Habanero Pepper Jelly

Why not have a little sweet with your spice?  Habanero pepper jelly is an incredible way to fill all of your cravings at once.  When served on a bagel, a burger, or even just crackers, this jelly packs some heat that will wake you up for the rest of the day!  You can make it a savory snack by having it on a cheesy bun or a sweet snack on top of some toast with honey, but any way you have it will make a fantastic snack.

Chipotle Aioli

dips

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Many refer to aioli as a dressed-up mayonnaise, and they’re not far from the truth!  Made by combining eggs, oil, and water- this sauce is fantastic on anything from burgers to fries.  It’s usually creamy on its own, but there’s no reason to let it stay that way.  Chipotle seasoning, powdered red jalapenos can be added to aioli while being whisked to create a beautiful and dangerously pink concoction.  For best results, you should let the aioli sit overnight in the fridge, which will allow the flavors to mingle truly.

Chili Garlic Sauce

From the same family of sauces as sriracha and gochujang, chili garlic sauce is a thick sauce that offers many flavors.  You can often find it fermented in sleek small jars that look radioactive because of how red they are.  This color is a clear warning to let you know about the heat inside!  Not only is this sauce incredibly spicy and ready to kick any cravings eating at you, but it’s also just a little bit sweet, with a deep savory flavor to back it as well.  This complex mixture may be a lot if you’re not prepared for it: but it’s one of the most delicious things you could eat.

Harissa

This Tunisian condiment is relatively unknown next to the other spicy sauces on this list, but it’s quickly becoming a cult classic.  Made from a mix of extremely spicy roasted peppers, garlic, coriander seed, saffron, and other spices, this sauce can range from being served thin- or as a thick paste you can squeeze from a tube.  Regardless of how dense you like it, it packs a punch in the spice department.  Although it’s often used as a cooking ingredient for fish and meat dishes, it’s also just as delicious next to a plate of fries or a bowl of chips!  Just be sure not to eat it too quickly; the spice sneaks up on you!

 

Note: This is a collaborative post
Features

3 Reasons to Use Solar Energy to Power Our Home

There are several ways that we can power our home. The differences lie in how much they cost and how good they are for the environment. There is no doubt that using up fossil fuels is the least environmentally friendly option because they are not going to be able to be replaced. Wind farms have to be built on land and in the sea for them to contribute to the renewable energy sources, whereas solar panels, such as those installed by Tampa solar, can be more discretely housed on roofs. Individually, they can reduce electricity bills for a householder or business, and collectively, they can reduce everyone’s carbon footprint. We owe it to our grandchildren to consider the environment. It is a bonus that we can save money while doing it.

Environment

graphic on energy rating

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By using solar energy you are not producing any greenhouse gases that contribute to global warming. Your solar panels are merely gathering energy from the sun and then converting it into electricity to power your home. This includes powering it in terms of heating and running gadgets such as computers and televisions. It has been suggested that using solar energy can reduce your home’s carbon footprint by up to 80 percent per year. This is considerable and is making a significant difference to the planet. The use of solar power is thought to save in a year as many as 75 million barrels of oil from being used, and equate to a saving of 35 million tonnes in terms of carbon dioxide. We can add to that total.

Cost Saving

Solar panels will reduce energy bills and be low maintenance. This double effect will benefit the household budget no end and mean that there is more money to spare for luxuries and treating our children. And, of course, the more people that have solar panels installed, the cheaper they will become. This is how any technology works. It is expensive to start with and then becomes cheaper when it is bought by the masses. Solar panels have now been out long enough to have become cheaper to buy and to run.

It has been suggested that on average solar panels pay for themselves in three years. This is in terms of seeing day-to-day savings. However, they also put money on a house, which is a longer-term financial gain. So, if you are looking for something to invest in then you need to search no further than the idea of solar panels. It is a financial investment as much as it is one for the environment.

Investing in the Future

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So, by investing in solar panels, you are not only investing in the future in terms of your home’s resale value but also in a planet that you still want to be there for future generations to enjoy. It makes sense to invest in this technology now before fossil fuels run out completely. We should embrace these renewable energy sources and show our children the way forward in terms of doing all we can to protect our planet long after we have gone. If we all play our part then the collective result can be immense in terms of the long-term environmental benefits. Governments are looking towards this and need every one the world over to support them if planet-saving products are to have any effect. If this means driving to and from our solar-powered house in an electric car and only buying products housed in recyclable packaging then this is what we must do.

In summary, we should use solar energy within our homes to protect the environment, because it can save money by being cheaper to run and maintain, and also for the fact that it is an investment in the future in terms of house values. Future generations do not have a say but will thank their predecessors for having left them with a planet that it is possible to still live on. Solar panels provide a dual benefit of reducing energy bills and protecting the planet and so should be embraced for the future.

Note: This is a collaborative post
Mamma Musings

Teaching Your Child to Resist Peer Pressure

Peer pressure is when your child is influenced by others. They may feel like they have to ‘follow the crowd’ in order to fit in. This can make them behave differently or change their appearance.

We all understand the desire to be included and this is especially important for children at school. Many children fear that they will be excluded or bullied for not being like their friends.

To help your child avoid peer pressure and feel confident to be themselves, here is some great advice from an independent girl’s school in London…

Talk about peer pressure

girl reading

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To help your child combat peer pressure, they will need to be able to notice when it is happening. Talk to your child about possible situations where they might experience peer pressure and role play some examples. Teach your child to be sensible and confident in their decision making and reassure them that they can always talk to you if someone is making them feel uncomfortable.

Teach your child to say No!

Teach your child to say ‘no’ when something feels wrong. It can be extremely hard for your child to say no to their friends, but it is important to explain that true friends will not pressure them to do something they are unhappy to do. You could teach your child to offer an alternative suggestion in response to peer pressure. For example if they feel that an activity is unsafe, they could suggest a fun activity to do instead.

Watch out for bullies

Spend time getting to know your child’s friends and their families. If your child seems upset by a classmate or tries to avoid someone at school, you should ask their teacher for advice. They will be able to keep an eye on your child and look out for any signs of bullying. It can also help to encourage extra-curricular activities, as this will allow your child to form many social circles.

Encourage individuality

Finally, teach your child to be proud of their individuality and to be accepting of others. This will help them to feel less worried by peer pressure. Peer pressure works by making an individual feel wrong or unaccepted for not following along. Explain to your child that we do not all need to be the same, or do the same things in order to fit in.

Note: This is a collaborative post

 

Features

Helping Your Child Develop Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence enables your child to express, understand and manage their own feelings. These personal skills also teach your child how to respect the feelings of others. 

Children who learn about different emotions from an early age will find it easier to form friendships and face challenges when they start school. Furthermore, studies have found that children with higher levels of emotional intelligence are less likely to suffer with mental health issues.

I have collaborated with an independent girl’s school in London to share some useful advice on how to help your child develop their emotional intelligence…

Empathy

sad child

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Children develop empathy by experiencing it from others. Even if there is nothing you can do to change a bad situation, the key to calming your child’s emotional outburst is acknowledging their feelings. Simply let your child know that you understand how they are feeling. You can also help your child to recognise these feelings by putting a name to their emotions. For example, “I know you are disappointed that you can’t see your friends” or “I can see you are angry that your toy is broken”. Labelling their feelings is a useful step in learning how to manage emotions.

Expression

It is really important to allow your child to express their emotions. Try not to get frustrated or tell your child that they are ‘being silly’ when they are upset or scared. This will give them the message that their feelings are shameful and unacceptable. Instead, encourage your child to talk about how they are feeling and teach them that all feelings are part of being human. This will help your child to accept their own emotions, resolve issues and move forwards.

Problem-Solving

Part of helping your child to develop their emotional intelligence involves teaching them how to problem solve. After you have talked about their feelings, the next step is encouraging them to think about how they can fix the issue or learn from it. If your child makes a mistake, discuss what could have been done differently and what your child can do to fix their mistake. Try to guide your child instead of giving them the solutions. This will give your child the ability to solve problems effectively on they’re own.

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Features

How Do My Child’s Lifestyle Choices Affect their Education?

It has been scientifically proven that a healthy lifestyle supports a child’s academic performance. This is why it is incredibly important for parents to encourage nutritious foods, plenty of sleep and daily exercise.

To help your family improve their lifestyle, here are some great tips from a preparatory school in London…

Start the day right

A good breakfast will improve your child’s concentration and energy levels at school. This is why it is really important that this first meal of the day isn’t missed. Make it part of your morning routine and your child will feel the benefits, both mentally and physically. Try to include foods that are rich in fibre and protein to give your child energy, and also include omega-3 to help boost their brain power!

Walk to school

Regular exercise will not only help your child to maintain a healthy weight and fight off germs, but research suggests that children who are physically fit also perform better academically. Be a good role model for your child and demonstrate a healthy lifestyle of your own. Make healthy choices like walking to school

red scooter

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instead of driving and introduce more physical activity into your family routine.

Stay hydrated

Water is not only essential to your child’s health, but it is also an important factor when it comes to learning. Even the mildest form of dehydration can affect your child’s brain power and their mood. Encourage your child to stay hydrated, both at home and at school, by giving them their own refillable water bottle. If your child dislikes the plain taste of water, you could try adding some sliced fruit to give it more flavour.

Sleep well

Your child may think that staying up late to revise before exams will increase their chances of success; however it is more likely to hinder their results. Sleep improves your memory and aids your concentration levels. During sleep your brain absorbs the information you learnt while you were awake, so the more sleep you get the longer your brain has to process all of this information. Encourage your child to go to bed at a sensible time each night, in order to improve their performance at school.

Note: This is a collaborative post

 

Mamma Musings

The Importance of Music Lessons in Schools

Music is such an important part of a child’s education. This is because it can be used to improve concentration, develop listening skills and boost creativity. 

Music will not only benefit your child academically, but it can also help to relieve stress and support your child’s mental health. 

To help you learn more, I have teamed up with a music school in Hertfordshire to put together this list of musical benefits…

Music enhances memory

Music is a great way to improve your child’s memory. In fact, studies have shown that music can help to enhance many cognitive abilities. This is because when playing an instrument; a child needs to read music; remember melodies and then repeat them.

Music improves coordination

guitar

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Playing an instrument can also help to improve coordination and motor skills. The piano is an excellent example of this. When playing the piano a child needs to use both hands to play different keys, read music and press the foot pedal all at the same time!

Music boosts confidence

Learning music at school or as an extra-curricular activity provides many levels of learning and accomplishments. These levels can be extremely motivational and confidence boosting for children, especially if they go on to study music or perform on stage.

Music aids relaxation

Music can be very beneficial for children’s mental health because it can be used to relax and de-stress. Playing an instrument can also have a calming effect on children because they need to focus on timing and notes. This focus allows children to take a break from any daily stresses or worries they may have.

Music teaches perseverance

Children who learn how to play a musical instrument at an early age will develop the skills required to move into the music industry professionally. This practice and dedication will teach them how to reach their goals throughout life, through hard work and perseverance.

Note: This is a collaborative post
Mamma Musings

5 tips for choosing a good neighborhood before shifting

Moving house is a big decision, and one of the most important factors to consider when making the move is choosing the right neighborhood. It’s important to take into account factors such as local amenities, schools, transport links, and crime levels when deciding on a neighborhood relocation. Making sure that you pick the right neighborhood will not only make your move smoother but also ensure that you are happy with your new home for years to come.

Tip 1: Research Local Amenities & Services Beforehand

Moving to a new area can be exciting, but it also comes with its own set of challenges. One of the most important things to do before moving is to research the local amenities and services available in your new area. Doing this will help you find the right community resources, such as schools, parks, public transportation, and grocery stores. You’ll also be able to learn more about the local culture and get an idea of what it’s like to live in your new home. By researching local amenities and services beforehand, you’ll be better prepared for your move and make sure that you have everything you need when you arrive.

Tip 2: Consider the Transport Connections & Accessibility

When you are moving to a new home, one of the most important things to consider is how well-connected it is with the rest of the city. You should look into public transport routes and find out how easy it is to get around in your new neighborhood.

It’s also important to think about how accessible your new home is. Are there good transport connections nearby? Are there any bus or train routes that can take you where you need to go? These are all questions that you should ask yourself before settling on a place.

By taking into account the transport connections and accessibility of your new home, you can ensure that you have an easy time getting around in your new city and make sure that your move goes as smoothly as possible.

Tip 3: Analyze Crime Statistics in the Area

Crime is a serious issue that affects many communities. To keep your family safe, it’s important to understand the crime rate in your area. For example, if you are shifting with your wife and kids, you would want to look at a place that has lower robbery and homicide rates. You should also focus on the area. For example, the highest homicide rates in Los Angeles are in ChinaTown and South Park, which is why you should stay away from these areas.

By analyzing the crime rate, you can identify which neighborhoods are safest and what crime prevention tips you should follow. Knowing this information can help you make informed decisions about where to live, shop, and send your children to school. Determine how much crime there is in your community by examining local crime rate statistics. Crime rates can vary widely across the country, and they are not necessarily reflective of the overall safety of a region. By comparing your location to other areas, you can get a sense of which communities are most at risk for criminal activity. Look at neighboring cities and compare their crime rates to yours. This will give you an idea about where crime is likely to be higher or lower in your area and what comfort level would be appropriate for you as a resident or visitor.

Tip 4: Check Out Schools & Education Opportunities in the Area

When moving to a new city or area, one of the most important things to consider is the quality of education options available in the area. It is essential to research schools nearby and their ratings in order to make sure that your children have access to quality education. Checking out schools and education opportunities in the area can help you make an informed decision about where you want to move.

By researching different schools nearby and their ratings, you will be able to determine whether or not they provide quality education options for your children. You will also be able to compare different school systems and decide which one best suits your family’s needs. Additionally, checking out schools and education opportunities in the area can help you determine how much money you need for tuition fees as well as other expenses associated with schooling.

Tip 5: Investigate Local Employment Prospects

When you are considering moving to a new area, it is important to investigate the local employment prospects before making the move. Knowing what job opportunities are available in the area can help you make an informed decision about whether or not the move is right for you. Investing time into researching local employment prospects can help you figure out the employment landscape of your new home and plan ahead for success.

It is important to make sure that you are moving into a good neighborhood. This will define your family’s future and security, so make sure that you do your research.

Note: This is a collaborative post

Features

Have You Set up A Retail Business? These Are The Things That You Need To Consider

shop open sign

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Has the pandemic inspired you to launch your own business – a retail store, perhaps? You are not alone; lockdowns have created a new generation of entrepreneurs, all keen to get going for themselves as soon as they possibly can.

Starting up a retail business has many challenges. You must choose the ideal location, polish your product line, and assemble a committed team of employees who are well-trained and ready to work. You’ll also need to figure out what your marketing strategy is going to be as, depending on who you are aiming your products at, you might need to use a range of methods. For example, if you are looking to target a local audience, then traditional forms of advertising such as banners, radio advertisements, or even flyers might be the best way to reach your potential customers. If this is something you think could work for you, you might want to look for services like this one offering flyer printing in Reno, NV to help you bring your designs to life ready to display or mail to those you would like to see your advertisement.

There are many other things to do and keep track of, but the little things are always the most important and help you succeed. Here, we look at some of those things.

Make sure your retail space is appropriate 

Spend some time hanging out in the location where you are thinking of starting your retail business before signing the contract. This will give you an indication of foot traffic to your store, the busiest times of day, traffic issues, how other stores are doing, lighting and accessibility issues, and so on. It is understandable that would-be business owners get excited about a place but overlook some of the intricate points. Spending time at the location could disclose information that you can discuss with your landlord or lead you to continue your search.

Think about the layout of your store

Your store’s layout can be the making or breaking of your business, particularly in a post-covid era. You want to ensure there is adequate space for social distancing should the need for this continue, somewhere where you can monitor for shoplifting and theft, and a way that encourages customers to spend more money than they came in intending to do. Also, consider things like space to try things on or test things out and signage to make everything easy to locate. Take a look at some display supplies to see which ones would suit your layout best. You want it to look inviting but not too full-on, too much can overwhelm shoppers and they need that freedom to manoeuvre around your store.

Do not be afraid to visit a local competitors store to see their layout and whether it works or not.

Think about how you will offer great customer service

A good retail store relies heavily on excellent customer service. If a customer has a bad experience at your shop, you can bet they will tell all of their friends and family about it, and since social media is so extensively used these days, it will almost certainly be posted there as well. Make sure that providing the best possible experience for your customers is at the top of your priority list. Teach your employees how to deal with problems and prevent confrontation. One skill which all retail workers need to master is learning to deal with an angry customer – you will never keep everybody happy, so having some of these skills will be vital when working in a retail environment.

Set up easy to use and secure payment processing. If you have excellent customer service, you can quickly gain a loyal following.

What will you do on difficult days?

There will be days when items fly off the shelf, the clients are courteous and quick to work with, and everything runs smoothly. There will be days where you have very few customers, customers that have issues, the till will stop working, the doors will break, and just about anything that might go wrong will go wrong. Hopefully, those days will be few and far between but have a strategy in place just in case.

Note: This is a collaborative post
Mamma Musings

Tips for Breastfeeding after Birth

Breastfeeding comes with plenty of benefits for both the mother and her newborn child. Breast milk contains antibodies and nutrients that aid in protecting the baby against infections, stomach problems, viruses, and even obesity. Mothers too can benefit from breastfeeding, as the process has been clinically proven to lower risks of ovarian cancer, breast cancer, and hypertension. According to breastfeeding and lactation specialists, you should breastfeed your newborn as soon as you can after delivery. However, breastfeeding after birth is easy said than done for most mothers. So, how do you ensure that your breastfeeding gets off to a good start? This post highlights tips for breastfeeding after birth.

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Breastfeed within the First Hour of Birth

Ideally, you should breastfeed your baby immediately after delivery. Within the first hour of giving birth, a healthy baby should be alert to latch a breast. The baby is also likely to spontaneously seek the breast within the first hour of birth, especially when in skin-to-skin contact with the mother. Breastfeeding immediately after birth, particularly within the one-hour window, enhances the immediate mother-to-child bond. The baby is also able to enjoy the immunological benefits of colostrum.

Maintain a Skin-to-Skin Contact When Breastfeeding

 Skin-to-skin contact between a mother and child has been scientifically proven to offer wide-ranging benefits when done correctly. Such benefits include improved brain development, strengthened bonding, and enhanced sleep. In the case of breastfeeding after birth, skin-to-skin contact goes a long way in facilitating more successful breastfeeding. This is because such close contacts make it easy for babies to cue for breastfeeding regularly, enhancing what is known as responsive feeding. This is a practice where you breastfeed every time the baby demands until they get satisfied. Again, it is easier for your baby to get a good latch when in close contact with your skin.

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